No Internet/Netflix or chill

What a wasteland the world is without internet. Colours, seem more vibrant. Birds, sound more songful. I watched the sunrise from my balcony this morning without an Instagram filter. It was fuckin’ gross. #yuck. The internet has been off at my apartment for the past two weeks because of “flood damage” to the local exchange, like I live in Manila or something, so I’m having … Continue reading No Internet/Netflix or chill

Sticky post

I bought a house/ Puppy bunny best friends

Buying your first home in Sydney?  It can help to slightly adjust expectations down. Think less “apartment from Friends” and more “house from the Flintstones.” Believe me, you’ll feel better and won’t actively recoil when the first weekend of looking fails to meet your elevator loft expectations. You have to… compromise. Sydney ranks number 2 in the whole world for housing unaffordability, just behind Hong Kong where $1m … Continue reading I bought a house/ Puppy bunny best friends

Commenters of the internet/ Guns! Guns! Guns!

Freedom. A magical word, an uplifting word that swells the chest and – in the right voice – raises the hairs on the back of your neck. “Freedom!” cried Mel Gibson in a kilt, as he defied the English oppressors in Braveheart. “Freedom!” cried Mel Gibson in a tri-corner hat, as he defied the English in The Patriot. Yes, whenever we think of freedom, we think … Continue reading Commenters of the internet/ Guns! Guns! Guns!

Country life/Majestic potato herds

“Country folk”: Hardworking, honest, outdoorsy, friendly, and armed, according to various movies and TV shows I’ve seen. Statically more likely to wear a hat at all times, including in the bath, drive a pickup truck and track manure into a post office. Please understand I’m not trying to present our dear, dear country folk as somehow more simple and endearing than my tie-wearing, foie gras … Continue reading Country life/Majestic potato herds

Predictions for 2016/ Everyone gets fat

The future. Immense and unknowable. Truly, who can predict what is is to come? Me. I can.   By this point, all New Year’s resolutions will have failed. Gun control is tentatively introduced in America following the tragic death of Grumpy Cat, who was caught in cross fire whilst touring an elementary school. Facebook users around the world add a Grumpy Cat filter to their Facebook profile pics … Continue reading Predictions for 2016/ Everyone gets fat

Rock on/ David Guetta is a jerk

“Do I frighten you?” “No…” “Do you want me to?” And that’s what love was, in the time… of rock . A time when men were men. Long of hair, tight of pants, they’d stand shirtless back-to-back and wail their guitars into the screaming night sky, calling the Devil and chicks in equal measure. Actually, it was probably more about the chicks looking back at it. The above quote … Continue reading Rock on/ David Guetta is a jerk

Follow the shorty/ Filipino

“In his book, Blink, author Malcolm Gladwell highlights a curious statistic of corporate leadership: ‘In the US population’ he writes, ‘about 14.5 percent of all men are six feet or taller. Among CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, that number is 58 percent. What’s dispiriting beyond the fact that a clear minority at a certain level become a significant majority, is that in no roles in … Continue reading Follow the shorty/ Filipino

90’s Kid/ Old man yells at cloud

  “They don’t make ’em like they used to: racist.” “Back in the good ol’ days… polio.” “When I was your age… wolves ate grandma.” It’s dangerous to play the nostalgia game as every single era has its share of terrible, terrible awfulness. It’s generally best to avoid claiming  ‘Your day’ was in any way superior to today. For most people, today is the best time to be … Continue reading 90’s Kid/ Old man yells at cloud

How to Bro/ Get all Swoll

Walking home in my bespoke business shirt, I encountered three young gentlemen coming the other way who had clearly spent their Friday bro-ing out hard. All three were in short-shorts and body-builder singlets – the kind which only sometimes cover the nipple – which was fine since it was 42c in the city and my artisanal bottled water only offered a jet of compressed steam to my pursed … Continue reading How to Bro/ Get all Swoll